A monk lived alone in a forest. A thief appeared at the door of his hut to rob him. After the thief informed him of his intent, the monk bowed reverently and welcomed him inside. He watched the thief leave with the few things in the hut. After the thief left, the monk looked out his window. Gazing at the moon, he said, "I only wish I could have given him this moon, too."
Like many Zen Buddhist stories, this one can have multiple meanings. Today, I share one meaning that came to me when I first read this story some twenty years ago.
Before sharing more, however, I refer to a meaning I later learned through the study of Zen Buddhism. The full moon can refer to the enlightened mind, or heart. Enlightenment entails seeing with compassion the oneness. So, the monk could mean, "I wish I could give the enlightened heart to that man." However, what would be this enlightened heart? What I share below points to a quality of the enlightened heart.
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One facet, of potentially many, of this jewel of enlightened heart is seen in the monk's capacity to be present fully to, so intimate with, the moon outside his window. He cannot have the moon, but he can be with the moon, truly intimate with it without needing to cling to it as something to possess. Indeed, the sense of possession, represented in the thief's clinging, or greed - one of the Three Poisons in Buddhism, one of the Seven Deadly Sins in Christianity - undermines the joy of the intimacy of sharing and, therefore, appreciation.
I would think the country in which I live would not want its citizens to move from the sense of ownership to that of gift. This transformation would revolutionize our capitalistic bias, which is built increasingly, it seems, on greed, manipulation, and the profit of the few from the debt of the many.
The advertising industry relies on trained experts to construct compelling and seductive images to convince citizens to buy something, even if they do not need it. What does the need for a vehicle have to do with sex as imaged in a seductively clad woman who is in a commercial with a shiny new car? Just ask the advertiser about the use of sex to elicit the belief that one needs that shiny car and, thereby, incur debt or spend money one could spend wisely. Have you ever wanted to copulate with a vehicle? I hope not!
A car is a car. It has a short lifespan, as all things, whether one engages in sex or not. You might buy a 'sexy' car and soon discover it is a lemon. Simply put, we are sold a lie, the lie that things can give us what things cannot give. Yet, people keep buying the lie in a mass of mad delusion, for they seek themselves in things. When you seek yourself in things, you never get enough things, for you cannot find yourself there. And, if you know your true self, not a self that can be a consumer, you can be as fulfilled and pleased walking down the road as driving a Porsche down the road. You can be as fulfilled without sex as with sex.
We can no more buy love, joy, peace, meaning, fulfillment... as we can buy the moon. Moreover, as long as we believe the lie, the lie will keep being sold to us. So, is it not true that widespread greed colludes with those who sell the illusion that something can fulfill us, when what can fulfill us is not something?
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In intimacy with the moon, there is joy from possession, the joy of what I often call being-with. Paradoxically, in a sense, you have the moon as yours when you admit it is not something to have. The thief cannot have the moon and cannot receive this gift the monk enjoys; neither can he enjoy the things taken from the monk. What is gotten is never adequately cherished and is an object to the getter. In contrast, when we receive life and all its giving as a gift, we cherish and appreciate the gift in intimacy.
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Thankfulness finds its full measure in generosity of presence, both through participation and witness.
*David Whyte. Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words. Rev. Ed.
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I am learning the generosity of presence more in relationships. In being-with the other, not trying to make being-with into anything particular, such as a goal to reach, I enjoy more the togetherness. I appreciate the other and what the other gifts me with. I see and feel, yes know, the other as a godsend. Yet, another is not for me to have, be that human or nonhuman, but to enjoy and be thankful for, even as I can be that gift in return.
Relationships only become principally the difficulty many claim they are when those involved step outside Grace. With gracefulness and the purity of heart-with-heart, togetherness is joyful connection even amid challenges to grow in the sharing. That is, challenges have a joyful, welcoming aspect when one is in Grace.
Egoic difficulty arises in resistance to what-is. Of course, if one or more refuse to be in Grace together with you, there cannot be a graceful relationship. Accepting this is to release resistance to the futility and exhaustion of trying to force such a wholly communion. Continuing to try to have an intimacy of heart-with-heart that another cannot share is a form of aggression that rebounds upon oneself. This is why the Christian Scriptures present a god who does not compel love in return and a Jesus who never seemed interested in going to try to convert those who opposed him - he did his best to avoid them ... Do you hear?
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In the Gospel of John, we see, "And the Word became flesh, living (lit., tenting) among us...". Christlinkeness is about this intimacy of the Word with us, not over us or separate from us. "Jesus" connotes the Love that does not seek to rule over or possess others. He signifies the Grace that does not treat others as objects.
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In a world that teaches us ownership, a being of Light aspires to not-own and to enjoy and be an enjoyment. This enjoyment is the bliss of communion, heart-with-heart, not personality with personality. In this, Love is manifested, Love is enhanced, and Beloved and Lover, while remaining two, become in the mutual-self-gift one subjectivity.
Indeed, as the Word becomes flesh - not "became" - I cannot be a gift to the other withholding myself, for the gift is first and foremost myself. I find myself alive in and with them. I find there is one self, one giving, and one gift, and these are not three, finally, but one, for this wholly communion is nonlocal, nontemporal. So, is it not true time stops when enjoying such heart-sharing?
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In the wholly communion, a third is invited and appears. This third is intimated in words I wrote to a friend: "It is good to feel the Mystery moving between us...". This Mystery is the third, as though another self, or movement, appears and expresses through the union of self-oblation.
And here we have a paradox. In self-oblation, the self is enlarged. That is, the relative self, located in its rightful place as servant of the union, is its true self. This enlarged self is a reason one can feel revitalized through even a short sharing spirit-with-spirit. The spirit flows into the natural self, animating body-and-mind.
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So, like the monk enjoying the moon, we can feel and know the other joyfully. This joy, so enjoyment, arises when we relax and receive the gift the other offers and is, for offering and gift are, again, one. And all connection heart-with-heart is self-offering. And this applies to all things, such as wholly communion with a nonhuman creature, even beings of another dimension. ... Do you see?
*Use of photography is allowed accompanied by credit given to Brian K. Wilcox and title and place of photographs.
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse.
